As Puck Would Have It Read online

  “So we’re dealing with three guys with twinkling eyes?” Paige asked as she watched Piper continue flipping through the Book of Shadows. “Sounds like a bad fifties group. Somehow I doubt they’d be in there under that name.”

  “Did your guy give you a card, by any chance?” Phoebe asked.

  “No,” Paige said. “Just a flower. But he told me his name was Robin, if that helps.”

  “Robin?” Phoebe asked as she took the Book of Shadows from Piper. “As in Robin Goodfellow.”

  Paige’s eyes went wide. “You don’t mean—”

  “I knew that quote was familiar,” Phoebe interrupted. “The IT guy changed my column to read, ‘Gentles, do not reprehend. If you pardon, I will mend.’ It was from A Midsummer Night’s Dream. We’re not being stalked by a demon mob. If I’m not mistaken, we’re all being bothered by the same guy. And even though we’ve never met him, I think we all know his name.”

  Even though Phoebe hadn’t known what page to go to, she immediately landed on the entry she had been looking for.

  Piper saw the page over her sister’s shoulder and in an instant understood the identity of the demon. “Puck.”

  Charmed®

  The Book of Three: The Official

  Companion to the Hit Show

  Seasons of the Witch, Vol. 1

  The Warren Witches

  The Power of Three

  Kiss of Darkness

  The Crimson Spell

  Whispers from the Past

  Voodoo Moon

  Haunted by Desire

  The Gypsy Enchantment

  The Legacy of Merlin

  Soul of the Bride

  Beware What You Wish

  Charmed Again

  Spirit of the Wolf

  Garden of Evil

  Date with Death

  Dark Vengeance

  Shadow of the Sphinx

  Something Wiccan This Way

  Comes

  Mist and Stone

  Mirror Image

  Between Worlds

  Truth and Consequences

  Luck Be a Lady

  Inherit the Witch

  A Tale of Two Pipers

  The Brewing Storm

  Survival of the Fittest

  Pied Piper

  Mystic Knoll

  Changeling Places

  The Queen’s Curse

  Picture Perfect

  Demon Doppelgangers

  Hurricane Hex

  Published by Simon & Schuster

  This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  SIMON SPOTLIGHT ENTERTAINMENT

  An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division

  1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020

  ® and © 2006 Spelling Television Inc. All Rights Reserved.

  All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.

  SIMON SPOTLIGHT ENTERTAINMENT and related logo are trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

  Library of Congress Control Number 2005933339

  ISBN: 1-4169-3430-8

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  For Harry Gaskill

  Prologue

  San Diego, California

  If there’s one thing to be learned from a life that spans centuries, it’s that evil doesn’t keep to a schedule. While, to some, it may seem romantic to inspire death and destruction on the Witching Hour, or the Magic Hour, or even the Happy Hour, bad things are just as likely to happen on the half hour as well. The freaks did not just come out at night.

  This was something that Puck had learned many, many years ago. Considering that some may have even called him one of the freaks, he knew full well that he could show up at any time of the day or night. But that knowledge didn’t help him in his present situation. It didn’t relieve the crick in his neck, the chill in his bones, or the numbness in his legs from sitting and waiting for so long in the brisk night air.

  Sure, he could have conjured up any number of creature comforts for himself, but that wouldn’t have been playing by the rules. Then again, since he was the one who made up the rules, why not just change them again? He would have to give that idea some serious thought if he was forced to wait much longer.

  If only evil could learn to stick to a schedule.

  He saw that the demon had finally decided to show up. Puck yawned and walked to the front gate as if he didn’t have a care in the world. The casual observer would think little of the sight of a “man” out for a stroll in the middle of the night. Though one might question why he was trying to enter the zoo while it was closed—that part was a little strange.

  Under normal circumstances the gate would pose little problem for the demon. Metal bars had long since ceased to be an issue, thanks to the collected strength he had amassed over the years. But metal bars weren’t the only things protecting the animals on this night.

  Shaking off the tingles of a leg that had fallen asleep, Puck easily leaped up to a nearby branch to get a better vantage point. He stood up on his perch above the gate and leaned forward to get a closer look at the demon. Even if the demon glanced in Puck’s direction, he wouldn’t see anything. Aside from the fact that the moonless night was pitch-black, Puck was currently invisible.

  Not that Puck was afraid of being seen. The great and noble Puck—as his closest friends liked to call him—wasn’t afraid of anything. He just didn’t want to give himself away yet. It was going to be much more fun to watch the demon undetected. Puck was practically giddy with excitement as the demon approached the invisible barrier and slammed right into it.

  This is the third time he’s done that in the past two months, Puck thought. When is he going to learn?

  The demon shook his head as if he wasn’t sure what had just happened. Puck was tempted to add a cartoon sound effect to complement the move. He didn’t seem to be a particularly bright demon, although the sweet deal he had set up for himself seemed to suggest otherwise. The demon tentatively held out a hand to find out what had stopped him. Again, this was something he had done on two other occasions.

  Puck briefly considered removing the barrier to let the demon’s hand pass through, then bringing it back up once the hand was on the other side, if only to see what would happen to the hand. But ultimately, Puck decided against it. Not that the cruelty of the action was the thing stopping him. That actually appealed to him. He was just afraid that he wouldn’t be able to get the barrier back up in time.

  The demon’s hand made contact with the barrier, causing him to screw up his face in a perplexed look. Puck turned a huge spotlight on the demon so he could see the demon’s reaction from his perch.

  If the demon had been surprised when he hit the invisible barrier, it was nothing compared with how he reacted when he found himself in the hot spot of a klieg light.

  “Who’s there?” the demon shouted, holding a hand over his eyes to block the light.

  “Good evening, kind sir,” Puck said as he came into view within the glow of the spotlight. “What brings you out here on such a fine evening as this?”

  “You!” the demon roared.

  “Me?” Puck was shocked. “I don’t recall issuing you an invitation. But I will certainly check with my social secretary.”

  “You!” the demon said again as he slammed into the barrier.

  “Yes, my monosyllabic friend, we have already established that it is I, the merry wanderer of the nig
ht…the happy prankster of stage, screen, and literature…the one, the only…Puck!” he said, loving every minute of his introduction. He considered adding some canned applause, but decided that would be overkill. Sometimes Puck preferred a little subtlety.

  “We have also established,” Puck continued, “that there is a wall there that you are just not going to be able to get through. Does any of this seem even the least bit familiar? We have done this before, you know.”

  “What are you doing here, fairy?” The demon asked.

  Puck’s face fell into an evil glare as he reconsidered using the barrier to slice the demon in half. “Do not call me fairy,” he growled.

  Puck pushed out with his hands, sending a wave of power that slipped through the barrier and knocked the demon to the ground. If it had been any other demon, the blast would have sent him clear across the parking lot. Puck was actually surprised to see that it had blown the demon off his feet. This was not just any demon. This was a demon Puck had had several run-ins with before, and it was quite strong.

  The demon wasn’t down for long, though. In an instant he was up and running toward Puck. If there hadn’t been an invisible barrier between the two of them, Puck would’ve been flattened.

  To Puck’s delight, the demon misjudged the distance as he slammed into the barrier again. Shaking it off quickly this time, he pounded his fists into the invisible barrier, trying to break through. Again, this was something he had done the other two times he had encountered similar barriers, and the result was no different.

  The demon pounded with all his might—as well as the might of several other beings. He didn’t even make a dent. Not that he could have seen said dent if he had managed to make one. The barrier was, after all, invisible.

  Puck yawned again as he grew bored with the entire situation. It was considerably late—long after his bedtime—and he had a notoriously short attention span to begin with. The demon’s reliance on previously failed tactics was just not keeping things interesting enough for Puck.

  “You can’t stop me, you know,” the demon said, when he finally gave up on trying to break through the barrier.

  “Seems like I’ve been pretty successful so far,” Puck replied as he looked down on the demon, both literally and figuratively.

  “You’ve delayed me, maybe,” the demon said. “But you can’t stop me for good.”

  Puck didn’t have a witty comeback for that one. The demon was right. Puck could not stop him for good.

  Puck could certainly make life difficult for the demon. He had already had plenty of fun doing just that over the past few weeks. But he knew that those games had ended, and the demon was about to take it to the next level.

  “So what do you have to say to that, fairy?” the demon said, taunting Puck. “I don’t hear you laughing now.”

  Puck quickly threw his arms forward again. This time, the blast did knock the demon up into the air, sending him into the koala bear section of the parking lot. It wasn’t quite as far as the duck-billed platypus section, but Puck was satisfied.

  He watched as the demon got to his feet. Apparently his nemesis had decided to give up for the evening. Instead of coming back for more, the demon just skulked off like a child who’d had his favorite toy taken away.

  Puck hadn’t enjoyed that exchange half as much as he had expected to. Probably because the demon had been right: Puck couldn’t actually stop him. At least, he couldn’t do it alone.

  That realization brought a smile to his face. He knew what had to be done.

  It was time for him to have some fun.

  Chapter 1

  San Francisco, California

  “Okay, great,” Piper said into the phone as she held it in the crook of her neck—she was lacking a free hand at the moment. Her son, Wyatt, was hanging on one arm while she was trying to sign for a package using the other. And at the same time she was trying to focus her attention on her slightly agitated assistant club manager over the phone.

  “Put the shipment in the storeroom for now and I’ll worry about it tomorrow,” she said. “Yes, I am subscribing to the Scarlett O’Hara school of business management now…. Okay…thanks.”

  Piper had scaled back her responsibilities at her club, P3, since the birth of her son. The problem was that everyone who worked there seemed to think the place was going to crumble to the ground without her. It was nice to feel needed, but the current level of dependency exhibited by her staff made her infant child seem self-sufficient by comparison.

  Piper pushed end on the cordless phone, finished scribbling her name on the delivery man’s electronic pad, rested the phone on the package, and took it from him all while Wyatt continued to tug at her blouse.

  “Thanks,” she said to the delivery man without missing a step. Then she closed the front door, dropped the package on the side table, moved into the conservatory, and placed Wyatt in his playpen.

  “Just another quiet morning in Halliwell Manor,” Piper said to the handsome man in the blue jumpsuit standing in the conservatory.

  Actually, she was speaking to the back of his head. The man was checking out the glass windows that made up the wall of the conservatory. She had left him a minute ago to answer the front door and was surprised to find that he was still working when she returned. She had thought the job was done. Apparently, he didn’t like what he had seen because he pulled a small rag from his back pocket and started wiping the pane he was examining.

  “Sorry if we’re adding to the ruckus,” the man said as he finished wiping down the window and took a sip from the glass of milk Piper had poured him before she answered the door. “Don’t you just love that word? ‘Ruckus’? Brings all kinds of images to mind, doesn’t it?”

  Piper’s image of a “ruckus” wasn’t all that pleasant. In fact, it was the reason the handsome gentleman was at her house this morning.

  “No problem at all, Mr. Goode,” Piper said. “Your crew has been amazing. I never imagined the place could get so clean in only a couple hours.” Piper was still impressed that the crew had managed to come at 9 A.M. that morning, clean the entire first and second floors well enough to eliminate all remnants of what seemed like their thousandth demon attack, and leave the place looking totally spotless.

  She wished that she had thought of calling a cleaning service before. It would have saved her and her sisters a lot of work over the years. Considering what a mess it was to stop the forces of evil, she’d probably be one of their best customers from now on.

  “At Goode’s Cleaning Service, we aim to please,” Mr. Goode said as he pretended to tip his nonexistent hat to her. “Just to go over things, we’ve dusted, mopped, and vacuumed, cleaned the windows, polished the fixtures, and even managed to get that stubborn green sludge off the floor.”

  Piper noticed that the part about the green sludge was spoken with a bit of a question in his voice. She couldn’t blame him. It was an unusual stain. The cleaning crew had made a similar remark when they first saw it.

  “Cooking experiment gone horribly wrong,” Piper said, trying to explain away the sludge. It had actually been all that was left of a Goo Demon. She had cleaned up the goo herself before calling in the crew. There had been no easy way to explain the thick coating of gunk that had covered everything in the front hall the night before.

  Goode didn’t seem to be buying her explanation for the sludge, though. “A cooking experiment that leaves a stain on the living room floor?”

  “When I get going, no room is safe,” Piper said, trying to laugh the question off.

  There was a brief pause as Mr. Goode mulled over her answer. It seemed like he believed her. Either that or he had decided to leave the crazy lady alone and move on. “So then, everything is to your satisfaction?”

  “Beyond,” Piper said. “You don’t even know how much time you’ve saved me. I may even be able to take a nap along with Wyatt this afternoon.”

  Goode leaned over the baby’s playpen, tickling the boy under the chin. “
I’m just glad to help a mom out,” he said. “Especially a working mom such as yourself. What is it you do?”

  “I run a nightclub,” she explained. “P3?”

  “Never heard of it,” Goode said. “But I don’t get out much. I’m a homebody. An exciting night for me is when TLC runs a Clean Sweep marathon. I can watch those people clean houses for hours.”

  “Well…okay,” Piper said.

  “But I imagine running a nightclub can get fairly busy,” he added.

  “You don’t know the half of it,” Piper said, meaning far more than she was saying. It was true that P3 took up an inordinate amount of time, but that wasn’t the only job she had.

  “I’m sure I don’t,” Goode replied with a cryptic smile. “I can imagine having a young child around the house must keep you very busy too.”

  “Particularly this one,” Piper said, remembering how Wyatt had managed to orb into her arms in the middle of the Goo Demon’s attack. Luckily, his force field protected him, and Piper, from harm. “He can be a handful.”

  “Something all mothers think about their children,” Goode replied as he put his now empty glass of milk down on a coaster on the table. “I meet a lot of people in my business. You know, I’m in and out of a lot of homes. It seems like everyone’s busy these days. Too busy to relax and enjoy life.”

  “Well, you’ve saved me from a full day of cleaning,” Piper said. “What do I owe you?”

  “Oh, money won’t be necessary,” Goode said. “I have no use for it, really. All that worthless paper lying about. But…that is a lovely blouse.”

  “Thank you,” Piper said uncertainly. She was wearing a black embroidered V-neck top with long sleeves, something Phoebe had gotten her for her last birthday. It was one of her most comfortable tops, but certainly nothing special—just something she wore around the house.

  “I can pay with a check, if you don’t want cash,” Piper said, going for her checkbook, despite the man’s strange comments. “You never did give me an estimate.”

  “I wasn’t sure what the job would cost until it was done,” Goode explained. “But I think that blouse will do fine.”