As Puck Would Have It Page 5

  “I don’t see any mention of a demon in here,” Puck said. “Nope. About a hundred other names, but no demon. Devil comes the closest, but do I look like the devil to you?…Don’t answer that.”

  Puck ignored the sisters for a moment as he read down the page, mumbling as he went. He then scrunched up his face as if he had read something he didn’t like. “Oh, but that’s entirely wrong. You girls really need to update this. No one’s gotten away with calling me a fairy since that Kipling fellow—”

  He looked at Phoebe. “Do you like Kipling?”

  Phoebe was about to answer, but then she realized he was setting her up for an old vaudeville routine. “I don’t know. I’ve never kippled.”

  “Now, I came up with that one,” Puck said regretfully. “Wish I got royalties every time that joke was used in the thirties, forties, and fifties. I’d be a rich—well, wait…I am a rich—”

  “Enough with the floor show,” Piper said, raising her hands threateningly. “What do you want?”

  “Hands down, hands down,” Puck said. “I’m not your enemy. Not yet, anyway.”

  That put Phoebe on edge. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I’ve heard so much about you lovely ladies that I figured it was time I properly introduced myself,” Puck said, holding out a hand to Phoebe. “Hi, I’m Puck, Robin, Pwca, Phouka, Pooka, Puca—et cetera—Goodfellow. Pleased to meet you.”

  Phoebe refused to take his hand.

  “Well, if you’re going to be that way,” Puck said, pulling his hand back. “Anyway, I have come to determine the true nature of your being.”

  “Okay,” Phoebe said. “What does that mean?”

  “In short,” Puck said, “I want to find out if you are a good witch or a bad witch.”

  “You have got to be kidding me,” Piper said.

  “Um, obviously you haven’t done your research, Puck,” Phoebe said. “We’re good witches. The best, some might say.”

  “Really?” Puck put his hands on his hips. Paige’s orbs bounced up and down like they were on a trampoline. “It’s interesting that you say that. Because I’ve heard differently in the circles that I’ve traveled.”

  “Maybe you need to travel in better circles,” Phoebe said.

  “Yes, well, that’s neither here”—Puck sent Paige’s orbs sailing across the room—“nor there. And, quite frankly, my opinion is the only one that matters. In order to form this opinion, I have devised a little test.”

  “I can’t wait to hear this,” Piper said.

  “Oh, no need to worry,” Puck said. “It’s nothing you need to study for. In fact, it’s right up your alley. Pop quiz time!”

  “We’re not about to jump through any of your hoops,” Phoebe said.

  “What a fitting choice of phrase,” Puck said as a pink and white floating hoop appeared in the air. Not surprisingly, he sent Paige’s orbs through the hoop over and over again.

  “As you may or may not know,” Puck continued as the orbs did their act, “the circus has recently come to town.”

  “Obviously one of the clowns got loose,” Phoebe said.

  Puck belched out a laugh. “Oh, that was precious. Do you mind if I use it?”

  Phoebe waved him off. She was ready for him to get to the point.

  “Anyway,” Puck continued, “there’s a—what do you call them? An Innocent? Someone in danger, in need of your help.”

  Piper gave a slight nod.

  “An Innocent,” Puck said, trying out the word. “How quaint. Like anyone is truly innocent nowadays.”

  “Get to the point,” Piper said, barely containing her exasperation.

  “Yes, well, there’s an Innocent at the circus in need of protection,” Puck said. “Go there, do your job, save the Innocent, and then I’ll decide whether you’re worthy of being my friend or my enemy.”

  “And what if we don’t want to be your friends?” Phoebe asked.

  Suddenly, all humor went out of Puck’s face and a noticeable pall fell over the room. “Trust me,” he said, “you don’t want to be my enemy.”

  Piper and Phoebe shot each other a look. Instinctively they knew that, all jokes aside, this was not a being to mess with.

  “But don’t worry,” Puck said, suddenly jovial again. “I grade on a curve.”

  “And what do we get out of this?” Phoebe asked.

  “Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t there some kind of personal gain penalty?” Puck asked. “And really, whatever happened to the work being its own reward?”

  “Oh, we’ll help the Innocent if there really is one,” Piper said. “She meant, why should we believe anything you tell us? You haven’t exactly been straight with us so far today.”

  Puck let out an exaggerated sigh. “Oh, very well.” He snapped his fingers. “There. The Manor is spotless. And I won’t even ask for clothing in exchange.”

  “What about my column?” Phoebe asked.

  “Well, now, I do still have some concerns about that,” Puck said. “But we can discuss them later.” He gave another snap of his fingers. “All better.”

  “And Paige’s backpack,” Piper said.

  “Well now, that’s a real problem,” Puck said. “See, this momma bear fished it out of the river and gave it to her cubs. And they’ve been using it as a sort of litter box. So, I doubt that Paige would want it back.”

  Piper and Phoebe didn’t know whether to believe him or not, but they both figured they had gotten just about all the generosity they were going to get out of him for now.

  “Okay,” Piper said. “Who is this Innocent that needs saving?”

  “I guess I could tell you,” Puck said, a grin once again plastered on his face. “But where’s the fun in that?”

  With that last remark, Puck’s body started to fade away. First his feet disappeared, then his hands and arms. Then, slowly, the rest of him evaporated until all that was left was his smile, hanging midair like the Cheshire Cat’s.

  “I just love a classic exit,” the disembodied mouth said before it faded out of sight. Even though he was gone, they could still hear the echo of his “Ho, ho, ho,” laughter bouncing against the attic walls.

  Piper and Phoebe looked at each other as if they didn’t believe what they had just witnessed. Then they realized that something was still amiss.

  “Hey,” Piper yelled into the empty air. “Give us back our sister!”

  Chapter 6

  “Does someone want to tell me what just happened?” Paige asked the moment her body returned to normal. “I feel like I just got off an amusement park ride.”

  Piper and Phoebe quickly filled Paige in on what she had missed. They delicately avoided saying anything about Puck sending her orbs around the room like she was a laser light show. When they finished, the only sound in the attic was Wyatt’s crying coming through the baby monitor.

  “That horrible imp, hobgoblin, pixie-man,” Paige said in disgust. “He really wouldn’t return my backpack?”

  “I don’t think that’s what our focus should be on at the moment,” Piper said. Wyatt’s crying was getting louder and more insistent.

  “Especially if there’s really an Innocent that needs our help,” Phoebe added.

  “Well, what are we waiting for?” Paige asked as she moved toward the attic door. “Off to the circus.”

  “Wait a minute,” Piper said, grabbing Paige’s arm. “You’re not seriously going to believe Puck, are you? This could be some kind of trap. We’ve all seen firsthand how much he likes to play games.”

  Though she had no intention of leaving the house, Piper continued to walk out of the attic and down to the nursery. She recognized Wyatt’s cry was of the “change me” variety. If he stayed on schedule, he should be hitting her with the “I’m hungry” cry soon. Then, as soon as he was full, his eyes would droop and he’d want to be put down for a nap.

  It was odd—and somewhat annoying—that the only part of her life that kept to a schedule was her baby. This was
supposed to have been her day to get the place clean and do some of her own chores. The most irritating part of the whole situation was that it was technically her day off. Unfortunately, P3 was the only one of her jobs from which she was allowed to take time off. Though, really, she shouldn’t take too much time off since she was the club’s owner.

  “If there’s an Innocent in trouble, we have to do something,” Paige said as she and Phoebe followed Piper into the nursery. “Don’t we?”

  “If we knew for a fact there was an Innocent involved, then yes,” Phoebe said. “But we don’t know that for sure. All we know is what Puck told us and, if you ask me, his credibility is a bit questionable at the moment.”

  “But how will we know unless we investigate?” Paige asked. “It’s a classic catch-22.”

  “If someone we’re supposed to help is in trouble, then our paths will cross somehow,” Piper said as she picked up Wyatt. By scent alone she could tell she was right in identifying the cause of his tears. “That’s how it usually happens. We don’t often get formal invitations. Or challenges, as in this case.”

  Piper carried Wyatt over to the changing table.

  “What if that’s how it works this time?” Paige asked. “What if Puck was supposed to tell us about the Innocent?”

  “She’s got a point,” Phoebe said.

  Piper threw out the old diaper. She had thought Phoebe would have stayed on her side for at least a little longer. “What if it’s his way of getting us out of the Manor so he can steal the Book of Shadows, or harm Wyatt, or tap into the Nexus? I’m just saying we need to be cautious.”

  “When aren’t we cautious?” Paige asked.

  “Do you really need me to run down that list?” Piper said. “We do have a tendency to rush into trouble at times.”

  “Okay,” Phoebe said. “But I think this conversation alone proves that this isn’t one of those times.”

  Piper considered what her sisters were saying. She knew they were right, but that didn’t make it any easier to accept what she had to do. “I don’t like this,” she said.

  “Neither do I,” Paige admitted. “But we can’t just ignore an Innocent because we don’t like the messenger.”

  “I really don’t like the messenger,” Piper said. Just because Puck supposedly fixed the mess he had made down on the first floor, it didn’t make up for what he had put them through that morning.

  Piper once again thought of all the errands and chores around the house she was supposed to be doing. She had been looking forward to crossing things off her to-do list. Puck had taken up enough of her time. But, she knew that if an Innocent was at stake, that trumped cleaning out the refrigerator.

  “Me neither,” Paige insisted. “But that shouldn’t stop us from calling Leo to come down here to watch Wyatt so we can get to the circus.”

  “Actually, we can’t call Leo,” Piper said. “He’s at a Whitelighters and Elders retreat. He’ll be out of touch all day.”

  “You’re kidding,” Phoebe said. “You mean they all leave their charges unattended for an entire day?”

  “Wait a minute,” Paige said. “They actually have a retreat? What do they have to retreat from? Don’t the Elders just sit around all day watching life pass them by and give out vague, usually unhelpful, information?”

  “Don’t ask me,” Piper said as she finished changing her son. “Apparently it’s one of the perks of the job.”

  “That, and a good dental plan,” Phoebe joked.

  “Can’t you call a sitter?” Paige asked.

  “On such short notice? I don’t think so. It’s not like we can just leave Wyatt with anyone, you know,” Piper replied.

  “What if we need the Power of Three?” Paige asked.

  Piper picked Wyatt up and held him to her chest. He had stopped crying and was now softly cooing. “Let’s not move so fast,” she said. “You two go and scope out the situation. Come back here when you’re done. In the meantime, I’ll go online and see if I can find any more concrete information on Puck.”

  “Is Puck really our main concern at the moment?” Paige asked.

  “Yes,” her sisters replied at the same time.

  “Just asking,” Paige said.

  “For the record, I’m not crazy about us splitting up like this,” Phoebe said. “Since we don’t know what to expect.”

  “I don’t like it either,” Piper admitted. “But this is one circus I’m not about to bring Wyatt to.”

  Chapter 7

  “What did we ever do before orbing?” Phoebe asked the moment after she and Paige had transported into the circus grounds without having to pay for tickets at the main gate.

  “If only we could use it for concerts and shows,” Paige agreed. “Imagine the money we’d save.”

  “If you ask me, I think we’d find plenty of Innocents at a rock concert,” Phoebe said. “We could probably find a way around that personal gain clause if we really tried.”

  “Maybe we should look into it,” Paige suggested. “It would be sort of like writing things off on your taxes. As long as we can justify the use of magic—”

  “I was kidding,” Phoebe said.

  “So was I,” Paige added quickly.

  But there was something in Paige’s tone that made Phoebe suspect her sister would have tried to get away with it if she could. Phoebe just chalked it up to the fact that Paige was still a relative newbie when it came to her magical gifts. She had never been sent to the future to see just how dangerous abusing the personal gain clause could be.

  Aside from saving them a few bucks on admission, Paige’s orb had managed to get them onto the grounds much faster than if they had been forced to wait in line. Therefore, they weren’t violating the clause.

  The circus fairgrounds were packed with people. Phoebe was amazed by the number of adults who were off from work in the middle of the day. Then again, she was technically off, as well. At least from her day job.

  There was a childlike excitement in the air that Phoebe suspected was more a product of her own imagination than any real energy. Then again, she had experienced many strange things since learning she was a witch. It was entirely possible that childhood excitement could be transferred into some kind of tangible energy.

  She found that thought sobering. It had just hit her that with all these children around, Puck’s warning that an Innocent was in trouble held a much greater meaning. Sure, they were dealing with a prankster, so it was hard to take things too seriously. But if the children were in danger, Phoebe knew that the time for joking was over.

  “I don’t know,” Paige said as she looked out over the fairgrounds. “The circus isn’t quite the way I remembered it. Where’s the sawdust? The big top? The tattooed lady?” She looked directly at Phoebe, who sported some herself. “Cancel that last one.”

  Phoebe gave her sister a playful slap. Okay, maybe a few lighthearted jokes will ease the tension, she thought.

  She had to agree with Paige: The circus seemed very different from how it had been when she was a child. Grams had taken her, Piper, and Prue once, many years ago. It certainly hadn’t been a world-renowned circus like the Fletcher Family Circus they were currently attending. It had been a much smaller affair, and far more like the kind of circus that was portrayed in books and movies. Phoebe had been awfully young at the time, but she remembered that there had been grassy fairgrounds, an honest-to-goodness big top, and even a very un-PC freak show that still gave her chills. And that was saying something, considering the freaks she now dealt with on an almost daily basis.

  The Fletcher Family Circus had none of that. First of all, the big top had been replaced by the concrete Cow Palace. The Palace, as it was known informally, was an indoor arena on the border of San Francisco and Daly City. It could accommodate thousands more people than even the largest tent could hold, but in its vastness it definitely lost something in the aesthetic appeal of the big top. Traditionally, the place hosted concerts, sporting events, and various activitie
s brought in by groups renting out the space.

  The fairgrounds essentially consisted of a sectioned-off area of a large parking lot where the atmosphere was most like a carnival, with animals on display, street performers, cotton candy machines, and music playing in the background.

  There was no freak show like the one Phoebe had seen as a child, but in the current age, that wasn’t much of a surprise. Considering that the tightrope walkers had been replaced by “Wire Walkers,” and the trapeze artists were now known as “Sky Surfers,” the lack of freaks was perfectly understandable.

  That didn’t mean that there weren’t freaks around—this was the San Francisco area, after all—but none of them were sanctioned by the Fletcher Family Circus.

  A quick search online had informed Phoebe that the circus gates opened two hours before the matinee started so the public could walk “amongst the animals” on the asphalt fairgrounds. The Charmed Ones had decided that this would be the best way to mingle among the circus workers and see what they could discover.

  “Where should we start?” Paige asked as she surveyed the grounds.

  It was a fairly chaotic scene. The place was packed. Children were pulling their parents around to look at animals in pens and cages. The attractions ranged from dogs to llamas to lions. Circus employees were scattered about, giving demonstrations of what was to come once the show started, and clowns were playing with the children and making their parents look like fools. It was a child’s wonderland, which could all go horribly wrong with one evil demon added into the mix.

  Although the crowds made it easier for Phoebe and Paige to snoop around unnoticed, there was a lot of ground to cover and a lot of potential Innocents to consider.

  “Somehow, I doubt if we just stand here our Innocent will approach us,” Phoebe said.

  As if to openly mock what she had said, a large clown stumbled up to Phoebe a second later, purposely knocking into her in an exaggerated—but still painful—gesture as his oversize red plastic shoe stepped on her clogs. To make matters worse, she could tell that he was scuffing the leather.